


Red, Green, Blue

by Vanamiya



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anders is dead but he gets better, Bittersweet Ending, Lots of drama, M/M, Offscreen character death, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 08:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanamiya/pseuds/Vanamiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders was killed by Hawke. Fenris tries to travel through time and save him.</p>
<p>(Note: If you didn't play the DAI quest "In Hushed Whispers" you might not get it or be spoilered.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red, Green, Blue

**Author's Note:**

> This, as so many things that I write these days, was a request on tumblr. For Fenders and Time Travel and Drama. So yes, this is lots of pain and suffering and it has... a good but bittersweet end I guess.
> 
> I'm not too sure if I remember "In Hushed Whsipers" correctly. I took some liberties I guess, haha. That's why this is a fanfic. Anyway, enjoy!

Red.  
  
It glowed, pulsed, sang. It ate through him, his flesh, his bones, pinned him to the wall. His skin had burned, once upon a time, but now it seared and withered, leaving only the red. Oh, what a sweet song. Oh, what bitter memories.  
  
He had loved, once upon a time. Oh, how he had loved like never before and never again. He remembered the day when he had awoken alone in his bed, when he had known something was amiss, he usually didn’t sleep that long. He had hurried outside and saw the light. Red. But different. Devastating. He never forgot the cold dread creeping up the spine and he never forgot the way his heart had stopped when he found his love, dead, killed by his friend. If only he had known. If only he had been faster.  
  
There was no life afterwards, only existence. There was no joy, only the frantic search for a way to reverse it. Travel through time. He knew magic. Knew what atrocities it could birth and how easily it ended a life. But if only it could bring back his mage, he would pay any price.  
  
He had found what he had looked for. In Tevinter. Of course. There wasn’t any other place where magic could hold its ugly head quite as high. A magister who had the same goal as him. Time travel, to save his son. It had made his skin crawl but he had offered his service. Any price.  
  
Now, his usefulness was exhausted and crystals grew on him, feasted on his skin. He knew what it was, knew what it did to him, but the song was so loud. It drowned out his thoughts. They swam in an ocean of low hums and whispers.  
  
In the distance, he could hear voices but they weren’t like the whispers in his head. They didn’t wrap around him, didn’t caress his mind. It could only mean that someone was here. He hadn’t seen another living being in… weeks? Months? He had forgotten. Only the song kept him company.  
  
“Look at him. He seems… different.”  
  
“Him? Oh, he was Alexius’… let’s call him guinea pig. An ex-slave, as far as I know. Killed the magister who owned him just to return to Tevinter and serve under another. Because of a dead lover, I believe. Those markings didn’t always look like that. They were pure, untainted lyrium. He was quite the sight.”  
  
“What did you say, lyrium? Oh… well, shit. It really is him.”  
  
“Wait, you know him?”  
  
He listened to the voices. He knew two of them. One was that annoying magister heir. The other… a friend from long ago. His eyes didn’t serve him quite as well as they had used to but he squinted, tried to make out the shapes of those outside his cell’s door. Someone looked at him. Someone he didn’t know but they looked strong, determined. Magic pulsed from their hand. He knew this feeling. It was like the rifts, the breach. It was the Fade.  
  
His eyes wandered. And then he saw him.  
  
“Varric.” He rasped, voice hoarse from not being used in so long. Varric had the mark of the song. His eyes glowed in a faint red.  
  
“Yeah, it’s me. Shit, you stubborn broody elf, what happened? Is what that Sparkler said true? Did you really make a deal with a magister just because of Anders?”  
  
That name. It stirred something, deep inside, where even the song hadn’t reached yet. He struggled, groaning out in pain when the crystals dug in deeper. He was not able to move. It had been too long.  
  
“Don’t speak of him like that! I was your fault! It was Hawke’s fault! If only… why? **WHY?!** ”  
  
Varric flinched but kept staring at him.  
  
“It wasn’t worth throwing your life away like that. He wouldn’t have wanted that.”  
  
“There was no life. Hawke took that away… after giving it to me, even. What a bitter irony. I do not want to hear any of it.”  
  
“Yeah, we should perhaps… move on. Quickly, I might add. There’s nothing you can do for him at this point, anyway.”  
  
The stranger with the Fade-hand stared at him. They nodded and wanted to start moving but paused at the last moment.  
  
“We will prevent this future from happening. I promise. So don’t give up.”  
  
Then they were gone and he was alone again. Prevent this future from happening. What an idealistic goal. It had not worked for him, why would it work for them? The only timeless place was the Fade.  
  
For a while, nothing happened. Then, he felt it. A rip here, a tremor there. The song turned frantic and the world began to shake. The crystals broke and he moved, for the first time in so long. He managed nothing more but a slow crawl, his limbs were weak and numb. The metal bars rusted in front of him, as if centuries were passing in mere seconds and he left his cell through the withering door. A cold and harsh wind greeted him and he looked up. Before, there had been a sturdy stone ceiling, now there was a vortex, like the breach but even bigger, swallowing everything that existed. Had they been successful in the end? Was this future wiped from existence?  
  
That was just as well. He could accept this fate. Whether to decay on a wall in a dungeon or not to exist at all, it made no difference. If only it would bring him back far enough, if only he could see him again. Just once.  
  
The song faded, like everything, and he felt himself lifted off the ground, violently swaying and turning like a leaf in the storm. He activated his markings one last time. An attempt to make it less painful? Or kill him faster? He wasn’t sure. He could only see red now. Could only feel it.  
  
Red turned to black.  
  
And black… turned to green.  
  
He opened his eyes. The world around him was… fragments, floating everywhere. And green mist, soft and just shy of touching him. He looked down at himself and saw it. The lines, red and pulsing and a body but wasn’t his, not the one he knew. It barely formed a memory of his limbs, translucent and faintly blurry. Like a ghost. Only the lyrium, the red lyrium, it held him together and kept him in this world, the Fade. He knew. He didn’t know why he knew.  
  
He wandered, shifted, through space and events. There was no time here, only memories. How long had he been here? It didn’t matter. He remembered why he was here. A certain place on the other side. A spot with memories of what had been, at one point. He had been there. When he had had flesh and blood. When he had been an elf. And the reason. He didn’t remember what it was but he knew he had to find it. The reason was all he could call it but it was all that kept him going, wandering, fighting.  
  
He saw them. The souls of those who slept. They roamed the fragments, unaware. Except a few. The mages. They stirred a feeling inside him, a distant memory. He had been angry at them. It felt hot and cold and uncomfortable. He stayed away and hid from them, didn’t want them to see him.  
  
He didn’t know how long it took, maybe just moments, maybe an eternity, but he found himself, dreaming, like all the others. He was so… blue. Yes, it had been blue, lines and swirls, like branches. The reason had adored them. Had eased his pain with magic and touched them with gentle fingers. Something he remembered, because he was close to himself, to what he had used to be.  
  
He came closer, slowly, carefully. He didn’t know what would happen but he felt a tug. A pull that wouldn’t leave him and the song was so much sweeter when it was blue. The reason. He needed to see it. Why did he only see himself? Why did he not know anything anymore? The closer he came, the clearer everything seemed to be and then he stood in front of himself, looking at closed eyes, a slight frown. What was the other him thinking?  
  
He reached out with a distant memory of a hand, close enough to touch. His fingers brushed the cheek, the chin, the markings. A rush went through him. Now, he knew everything again, all at once, and he gasped breathlessly, not able to comprehend it all so sudden. He screamed and felt himself bursting with memories, feelings.  
  
The reason.  
  
Anders.  


* * *

 

  
  
Fenris woke up, wheezing and sitting up straight in his bed like a candle. He wasn’t sure what had just happened… but he remembered everything. Anders’ death, the frantic search for a way to go back in time. The magister. The Breach. The red lyrium and how it felt being eaten slowly while listening to the song for days and weeks and months. The stranger with the glowing hand who managed to prevent this future from happening. Wandering the Fade like a spirit and forgetting everything before he finally found himself.  
  
Anders. He needed to find him. This was the day of his death but he could still make it because now he knew what to do.  
  
Fenris wasted no time, he got up and put on his armor. Only then did he see it. His markings were back to normal again, faint white lines that would glow light blue when he used them. But there, on his hand, at the edge of a line going up his pinky finger, it was red. It was just the tip but he knew what that meant. It was the price he would have to pay. Once he was tainted, there was no turning back. It would infect all of his marking until he could only hear the song and see red.  
  
Fenris clenched his fist, took a deep breath and left his house. He needed to save Anders. It was all that mattered. He had suffered way too long for this and now was his only chance. He wouldn’t be able to do this a second time.  


* * *

 

  
  
Anders waited. Hawke would kill him, which was alright. It was what he deserved for doing what had to be done. It was justice in its own way. And perhaps it would give him peace. It was a good thing he had known that this would happen, that he had put that sleep spell on Fenris. He would wake up just in time and he didn’t have to see this, or worse, try to protect him. This wasn’t his fight, he should stay safe.  
  
A shadow stood over him and Hawke barked an angry command to get out of the way. Anders didn’t even need to hear the name or look up. He felt it. The soft hum of the lyrium that he had touched and kissed so often. He turned his head towards the source of the shadow and there was only one question, unspoken, hanging on his lips. How?  
  
“If you want him, you will have to go through me.”  
  
Fenris glared at Hawke and Hawke glared back. Another command but Fenris didn’t budge, he only grabbed Hawke’s wrist tighter, digging his metal claws in until the knife fell from Hawke’s hand. In the corner of his eye, he could see Varric. He seemed strangely relieved. Yeah, he was as well. Whatever it took he would protect Anders this time.  
  
“Do you even know what you’re doing? What he did?!” Hawke asked, starting to seem desperate. Fenris let go and smiled.  
  
“Yes, I know. Perhaps better than any of you, Anders included. That’s why I will not move.”  
  
\---  
  
They ran. It was chaos and panic, Templars marching the streets and preparing their assault on the Gallows. They killed those that crossed their way but didn’t approach the docks. Helping the mages was what Hawke would do and because Fenris had refused to let Anders be killed, they both had no place among the Champion’s companions anymore. They could only flee.  
  
They left the city and disappeared into the woods surrounding Sundermount. They wouldn’t be able to stay for long but as long as Hawke and the mages fought the Templars, no one would chase them, so they could take a small break beneath one particularly big tree.  
  
Anders fell flat on his ass, leaning back on the tree’s trunk and breathing in heavy gasps, sweat running from his forehead.  
  
Fenris kneeled next to him, finally able to take a good look at his face. It was how he remembered it. This was Anders, his mage. His eyes burned as he took in the sight.  
  
“It’s really you. You’re alive. I can barely believe it.”  
  
“Thanks to you. You weren’t supposed to be there. I was prepared to die.”  
  
A powerful fist landed right next to Anders head, creating a dent in the tree.  
  
“ **But I was not prepared to lose you!** ”  
  
The burn was too much for his eyes and they released hot liquid, sliding down his cheeks as he stared at Anders’ shocked face.  
  
“F_Ferins…? I…”  
  
“ **You don’t even know how I felt after you died! I kept telling myself that this was my fault, that I should have known, that I hadn’t been fast enough! It’s been so long since I saw you and I endured pain and torture just to be able to save you and this is all you have to say to me?!** ”  
  
Anders furrowed his eyebrows, obviously confused by those words that spilled from Fenris mouth like a fountain, angry and raw. This was so much more painful than the lyrium had ever been.  
  
“What? Pain, torture? Fenris, I didn’t die! We saw each other yesterday!”  
  
Anders reached out slowly, placing his hand on Fenris’ cheek, wiping away the tears. But it couldn’t soothe Fenris’ overflowing heart. It had been so long.  
  
“What happened?”  
  
Fenris shook his head slowly. He couldn’t tell him. Not right now, perhaps never. He found himself embraced by two long arms and relaxed slightly.  
  
“I’m here. I didn’t die because you saved me. Thank you. It’s alright now.”  
  
No, it wasn’t alright. The taint would get him, at one point. But that was the price. The reward was having Anders back, even if not for long. Time was strange. And short. Fenris understood that now.  
  
He let himself be calmed by Anders’ embrace and warmth and when they parted, he stole a quick kiss from currently dry but strangely inviting lips. Anders smiled and Fenris knew. Being able to see this again had been worth any price.


End file.
